I guess the first part of that title stems from the fact that it seems like not every day can be filled with synchronistic experiences, coincidences, “wow!” moments. No, those moments seem to be spread out just a bit, and I suppose that makes sense. But that doesn’t mean that a day isn’t magical, for just being alive and being sober is VERY magical to me, and I always need to remember that. And I don’t mean that in fluffy way – I mean it in a very real sense. The fact that I am completely sober and live a life free from the compulsion to use drugs is nothing short of a miracle.
Of course there are layers, as there are with all things. That sobriety and serenity is the base “layer.” And for a long time, it seemed like that was the only layer of the cake of magic I was ever going to get to experience again. But lately, as I have been recording here, the other layers have started to manifest. Now, I have to be careful, because as with all things, as an addict, the things that make me feel good, I want more, and more, and MORE of! So of course I want more synchronicities, more coin-incidences, more “wow!” moments. I try to tell myself that if they were to start happening much more frequently, as I hope and wish they will, I won’t lose that sense of awe, wonder and gratitude. Actually what I’m doing is bargaining with the Universe, saying basically “if you allow me to experience being in the Flow on a much more regular basis, I promise I won’t let it go to my head, nor will I stop appreciating it and being extremely grateful for it.” I’m hoping that by making this promise to my Higher Power, I will be granted more frequent experiences of synchronicity, coin-incidence and being in the Flow.
It does seem as though I am being led again, and I feel as though that Master, that Teacher that was guiding me back during the Coin-incidence, that type of situation is happening again. I noticed last night while reading my latest book pickup, “Dark Star,” it references the Carl Jung stuff I just got done reading, as well as some Hermetic texts, which I have a copy of. It seems as though there is this Golden thread that has been weaved, and I am being led along it. And it’s very invigorating, especially considering that not that long ago, I was having trouble finding anything to read that I was interested in. Now, I have just finished 2 books that were fascinating (“Real Magic,” “Synchronicity”), just started another one that I just mentioned, and have my next one (“Grail”) lined up. So, much like that period back in the early 90’s, it’s as if I am being led by Spirit into knowledge that my Spirit craves – and it’s awesome.
I keep hoping that maybe this time, I can stay in the Flow, that I can remain on the Path, and progress further spiritually, in a persisting manner. I’m hoping it’s not just a “phase” this time, but a true, lasting shift in my life experience. I like to think that if I can stay sober and humble, that will be the case. Only time will tell, but I am feeling pretty good about it.